My mother was a Lutheran Protestant and my father an agnostic. I went to Sunday school when I was young and heard the fantastic stories fit for a child's ears (nothing about all the killings and rapes that are also to be found in the Bible) and, knowing about the Greek, Norse and other myths, waited for some sort of proof that this set of fantastic stories was real, unlike the myths of the more "primitive" peoples but that proof never came.
At 10 I gave up believing in Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter bunny and the Middle Eastern tribal god. At that time my mother had had a severe stroke and I couldn't believe that god would do that to her so all my doubts bubbled up to the surface and I proclaimed he didn't exist.
In my later teens I became an agnostic - perhaps god existed but I still wanted proof. In my 20s I became a feminist and sort of believed in the goddess but in my 30s I came to realize that that is just as sexist as believing in a god. I'm not sure exactly what I believe now and I know what I believe today I may not believe tomorrow but I do feel there may be something beyond us.
free·think·er
[free-thing-ker] –noun
a person who forms opinions on the basis of reason, independent of authority or tradition, esp. a person whose religious opinions differ from established belief.
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